she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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