Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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