so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
