Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
