And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
