Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
