his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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