And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
