I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
