i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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