this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
