This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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