just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
