I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
