This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
