in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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