These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
