Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
