D3 body, D1 cock
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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