Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
