It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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