he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The adults are the big ones right?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
