she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
