My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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