Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize