Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
