yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
