She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
