8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
