just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
