margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
