the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
