What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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