The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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