can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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