We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
