So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Houston, we have a squirter
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
