will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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