Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
