we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
