You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
