man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
