i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize