Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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