You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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