i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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