Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
