I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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