Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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