Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
