is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
