but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
