was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
