So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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