Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
