my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
