and you said cock pushups were impossible
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize