I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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