In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
