Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
