Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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