so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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